No Answer

I scream and cry,
Tearing at my clothes.
I cover my face
With hands already wet.

I turn to the sky
And shout to him, accusing.
“My God, my God!
Why have you done this to me?”

There is no answer.

This is a guest post, a memory of DB. If you are in despair too then please don’t keep it within. You cannot heal alone. Talk to your family, your friends, anyone you trust. Believe me, it will get a little easier for you as the years pass.

Early In The Morning

What is it like
Early in the morning?
Just you and the birds
And the rising sun.

Wind stirs the cherry tree
And your memories.
Do you remember
The life that you once had?

Children played on the swing
In the rising sun.
Wind stirred their golden hair,
Caressed a lost world.

What is it like
Early in the morning?
Just you and the birds
And your memories.

For Those Five Years

A Spanish town, white, warm and blue,
A tourist street with gentle crest.
I’ll walk that street and look for them,
My pretty wife and lovely sons.
I’ll reach the top and find my world
Or maybe it will find me first.

They’ll say “Where have you been, Daddy?”
And “we’ve looked everywhere for you.”
I’ll make excuses, reassure,
With “I was in that shop” I’ll smile.
The nightmare done, I’ll go with them
And no more years in exile live.

In that same place I’ll wake at last
With all my loss and pain redeemed.
My pretty wife, my lovely sons,
The precious house my Daddy loved.
My health, my hope, my job, my world,
Returned to me as they should be.

And so I walked along that street,
The sun and shadows followed too.
Cresting the rise, she was not there
And no brave sons came seeking me.
Five years of loss and pain were real,
To turn and with the shadows take.

I lost my world that day and cried,
Only the shadows knew my pain.
I did not tell about it then,
Nor shall I speak it ever now.
The loss is mine alone to bear
For those five years and many more.

A guest post by Henry Isaacs, author of Around The Red Rock

Father

It’s colder today
The clouds have come back

I saw him last night
His hate in my dreams

Death did not release
The clutch of his fear

It’s cold in my heart
The clouds have come back

This is a guest post by a survivor

Valium And Vodka

She’s crying at midnight.
Sick with loss,
Crying for sleep.

Crying for sleep,
The only way out
Is valium and vodka.

The day is no longer young.
Sick with tears she awakes,
Nothing has changed.

Nothing has changed
And all that’s left
Is valium and vodka.

Let Me Show You Something

Sorry it’s rather dark in here.
I’ve opened the curtains
But it’s always raining.

What’s that you tell me?
You remember this place.
Hasn’t changed much, has it?

No, things don’t change,
They just fade a little
And the loss remains.

You can’t change anything here.
Leave the door ajar, visit any time.
This room is your past.

 

It’s brighter in here.
See, hear, touch.
Details fill your senses.

What’s that you ask me?
Of course you can move things,
You are in control here.

Change what you like.
Choose new colours
For your pleasure, your delight.

This is where you live.
Leave both doors open.
This room is your present.

 

Be careful where you step,
There could be anything here
And I don’t want you to get hurt.

Why are you surprised?
Everything keeps moving
and you haven’t touched a thing.

This is hope, anticipation.
A dream where you decide
What will happen next.

Open the curtains,
Dawn is breaking.
This room is your future.

Live The Journey

Nothing is perfect, nothing is complete, nothing lasts forever. That’s what I’ve been told. So why do we squander so much of our lives searching for precisely these things? Is it something primeval, seated deep within out human spirit, that drives us on relentlessly? We seek perfection and completeness in our romantic lives, always hoping that we’ll find “the one” and it will last… forever.

A friend called me a couple of days ago. “I’ve been married for a third of my life,” she lamented, “and it’s all been for nothing.” Was it for nothing? There were good times, many of them. There was love and laughter, caring and companionship. It didn’t last forever. Like I said, nothing does. But it was lovely at the time, the years filled with joy and happiness. No, it was not for nothing.

Life is a journey. That’s a very tired cliché and it should have been retired long ago. The trouble is, it’s true! Don’t spend your hours lamenting what has passed. Remember those times for what they really were – spent happily with someone you loved, doing what you both wanted to do right then, in the moment. As we drive on down the road of life, things will change. You will win, then you will lose. Now you must keep going and discover what is waiting for you around the next corner.

Anticipate the destination… but live the journey.

Photo: Road between Plumtree and Clipston, England. Copyright © S Silverman 2018.

This Is My Rose

This is my rose.
Last week it wasn’t there. Last month the bush was bare.

This is my world.
Last week I danced in the rain. Last month was filled with pain.

This is my heart.
I could give it to you. Would you remain true?