Friend

For lunch today
I see my friend.
We eat and talk
And don’t pretend.

Review our lives,
Discuss our fears.
We laugh and then
Maybe some tears.

I like his shirt,
He loves my hair.
The cake arrives,
We smile and share.

Each secret aired,
Unspoken trust.
Though intimate,
It’s love not lust.

No fear of hurt,
Or need to hide.
A chance to talk
Of fears inside.

Don’t live your life
In solitude.
You need a friend
Like mine, with food.

Meet Me At The Tea Shop

Meet me at the tea shop
Where you stand and choose
From endless rows of exquisites,
Things that they call tea.

You couldn’t dream the brews they do,
Hot or iced for twice the choice.
Fruits and herbs, vanilla too,
Blended in unexpected harmony.

We sit together at the back,
Exchanging gossip, glasses raised.
One hot, one iced and both delights,
Things that they call tea.

We talk about the things we love,
Our different worlds connected.
One hot, one iced and both delights,
Friends in unexpected harmony.

See The Little Things

I was washing the dishes. This time amongst the usual foamy confusion of bubbles there was something small yet special, a beautiful cluster of tiny bubbles arranged near-perfectly. In this moment I saw that it’s the unexpected little things that really matter.

Has your love ever sent you a message just to say that he still loves you, that he cares about you? Perhaps you’ve had a wordless message, his head briefly resting on your shoulder, his hair tickling your face. Such gestures might seem tiny, even insignificant. Don’t dismiss them, see the little things.

You Think It’s Over

You think it’s over
But you’re wrong.
Your eyes light up,
You are still strong.

Your brilliant mind
Is still alive.
Don’t waste your years,
Recall that drive.

I see your light
And know you’re strong.
You think it’s over
But you’re wrong.

 

With gratitude to my muse,  whose love and light sustain me.

I Wish…

I wish… If only…

How many times a day do you wish for something? Like so many things in life, there are good days and bad. On a really good day your desires are fulfilled effortlessly. It’s so easy that it’s almost a magical experience. So much for the good days, then. They are just as you’d hope, beautiful. Nothing to see here, nothing to fix. Let’s move on.

I want to talk about the rest of your life. All those bad days when nothing seems to go right, no matter how hard you try. Painful, isn’t it? Those are the days when you simply can’t do it alone, and those are the days when you wish.

I wish… I hadn’t said that.
Of course you do. It happens to all of us. In the heat of the moment or an outburst of anger you said something that you didn’t mean. The heat cools, the anger dissipates but the words have still been said. I’ve pre-ordered a time machine but guess what? It still hasn’t been dispatched! So we can’t go back in time and un-say those words. Call him now. Say you didn’t mean what you said. Tell him how much you love him. Time-travel may not be possible but you can still move forward.

I wish… I had a friend.
Ok, so you do have friends but they aren’t interested in your struggles. Or maybe you don’t want to bother them. After all, they’ve got better things to do, more important issues to worry about. They wouldn’t want to listen to you, right? Um, no. Wrong. They do care and they are interested. Look through your contacts right now. Pick one out. Call her now. Talk.

I wish… I had a lover.
Right now you’re single. This hurts too much, you need to fix the pain and you wish you could do it right now, today. There’s no quick fix for this one, I’m sorry to say. It takes time and effort. But you must not despair. You’ve loved before, once, twice, maybe three times. That’s a hard fact and it proves that you can do it again, too. So take heart and take the first step in your new journey into love now. Call him, message him. Set sail on your quest today. May your voyage be thrilling… and ultimately fulfilling.

Shona x

 

Don’t Give Up

How many times must you fail before you give up?

Of course that’s a silly question without any context. Give up what, exactly? It makes all the difference. If you were searching for a missing ball-point pen, or maybe trying to catch a spider in your living-room, then it might be quite reasonable to give up after a couple of attempts. A lost pen or a harmless spider doesn’t matter very much, does it? When you take a broad view, these things are quite trivial and soon forgotten.

Some things in life really do matter. A lot. Consider all the romantic connections you’ve had in your life. Now we’re are talking about something that is important to most people and I think I’d be safe enough in guessing that you feel the same. Think back. You had teenage flings of course. This was just the starting point, training at the Love Boot Camp and intensively developing your skills. The love you felt in your twenties was something different. Profoundly deep, compelling, overwhelming. So powerful that you married him.

Nearly half of marriages end within 15 years. Ok, so there’s more than one way to measure divorce rates but I don’t wish to get bogged down in such debates. Let’s just agree that divorce is a thing and it happens a lot. For better or for worse, never mind for richer or for poorer, marriage simply isn’t what it used to be.

lonely man ocean-2787669_1920 smlSo what comes after your divorce? Is it time to give up now? That’s the easy option but it’s far from satisfying. Envisage the lonely years that would stretch ahead of you. Instead of throwing in the towel, it’s time to start dating again. Argh, it’s so much more difficult now! Where have all the good men gone?

Despite the challenges, you do go on a few dates. Romances develop, they blossom for a little while but soon wilt. Back to square one, again and again. Failure upon failure. The months go by, hope is displaced by despair. Now you really do feel like giving up.

friends people-2561065_1920 smlA friend called me last night and I told her everything. I told her about the lost love, the hope and the despair. I told her that I just didn’t have the energy to keep on trying. I was fed up, jaded. Enough was enough. “Don’t give up,” she said softly. Good advice from a wise friend.

Unlike a cheap ball-point pen, you can’t nip out and buy another lover. And without that lover, you’ll just have to have another go at catching the spider yourself. No-one said it would be easy. Just don’t give up.

Loneliness

The hours come first.
Pretending I will heal
Today or tomorrow.
Wounding loneliness.

Days add up.
Seven make a week.
A week alone.
Bitter loneliness.

Weeks pile upon weeks.
Four weeks more
Is another month.
Crushing loneliness.

Months are fragments.
The jigsaw of time
That forms my years.
Burning loneliness.

 

Please don’t let loneliness win. Go out, meet people, make friends.
Yes, it’s hard. Sure, you have no energy and I know it didn’t work out last time you tried.
It’s still not too late. Do it now. This time it will be different.

Above all, be kind to yourself.

Shona x